I write as a man incapable of growing a proper beard.
For most of my life this has been a largely irrelevant matter.
There was that trendy goatee period but that seemed rather subtle and discreet in comparison to the full Ledley beard. For those following me on Twitter, I have evidence of being in close contact with the beard. Not too close, you understand.
Anyway, I want to talk, tangentially at least, about a man who has maintained the scraggy bearded look for more than 30 years. He is also a committed Gooner, which is not unreasonable as he is the local MP.
I speak of Jeremy Corbyn, who has had an interesting last few weeks.
I am not a natural Corbyn supporter. Obviously the Arsenal thing is a factor, but I am a middle-aged, middle class accountant from Surrey, not the most natural Corbyn constituent.
But I have a grudging respect for the guy.
One reason for that is that he is the classic underdog, who attracts support for overcoming adversity and winning against the odds.
There is something else though. It is the fact that he is prepared to stand up against what is accepted by others, the fact that he has a thick enough skin to withstand the unreasonable personal attacks from the press, and he is prepared to stand by ideas that may seem out of date to many.
I am not going to vote in the Labour Party leadership contest. It would be hypocritical if I did. More worryingly, the Palace supporting comedian and writer Mark Steel will not be voting either. Mr Steel is a deeply committed social commentator, who I have a feeling will not have ever voted Tory, LibDem or UKIP, and has an awful lot in common with Corbyn, but seems to be condemned for being a socialist.
Both Corbyn and Steel are fully signed up, unashamed members of the awkward squad, meaning they do not care if their thoughts and views are unpopular with ‘the mainstream’ (whatever that means when a government can have a majority in Parliament with less than 40% of the popular vote).
This awkward behaviour is clearly annoying lots of people in the parts of the press owned by very rich people who do not pay a great deal of tax in the UK, and in the New Labour world. Corbyn is challenging the previous Labour response to George Osbourne’s austerity measures, to accepted foreign policy, and is unphased by the abuse he gets from the right wing press.
I think it is time for a Jermey Corbyn in football.
The first place he should start is the ‘Twenty is Plenty’ campaign, where prices on away tickets for fans in the Premier League should be capped at £20.
This is a populist yet sensible campaign inspired by grass roots fans, the humble masses.
It is an even more sensible idea when you consider how much television money the clubs are sharing now, and also when you consider that the savings the Premier League is making by not paying Norwich a second parachute payment could make up the shortfall clubs would have if they were forced to reduce ticket prices for away fans.
The scare stories about Jeremy Corbyn often focus on his enthusiasm for denationalisation, at the expense of our beloved free markets.
When it comes to the transfer fees we are seeing for some young English footballers, the Corbyn distrust of free markets may be justified.
The ‘home grown player’ rules imposed by UEFA, the lack of quality British players and the wads of television cash available to the top teams has created a warped situation where demand exceeds supply and drives the price of the best young players up to £48 million for Raheem Sterling, and north of £30 million possibly for John Stones.
A consequence of this is that the lower half of the Premier League is then ‘flooded’ with cheaper but better value European and African imports.
In the home of the free and the land of the brave, major sports have controls designed to bring about some form of equality. Each major sport has a draft where the weakest teams get the first choice of the best available College or High School players.
This is impractical in football as we do not have a national structure below professional sport. Another idea used in American sport could be used and it is more socialist than anything Corbyn has come up with. In Baseball, teams with payrolls above a specific ceiling must pay a tax that is then shared among the other teams once they go above the ceiling. If we were to include transfer fees as well as payroll in a Premier League ceiling tax, we might see far more competitive league.
Many of you have no desire to see five, ten or fifteen more years of a Tory government. In the same way, I do not want to see the same top five teams competing for the four Champions League spots each year.
We need a bit of Corbyn in football.
