Does Crystal Palace Boss Play Battleships In The Bath?

Fantasy football puts us in the same position as real football managers.

We’re all forever hunting that most slippery of soaps in the bath ….. the combination of team selection and game management that produces the points.  And battleships are a major problem, if you don’t see them coming. More of that later.

When Palace play Glasnerball properly, I wonder if the Austrian may already have the secret elixir for positive moves up the Premier League. 

One stat sums the whole thing up. And, surprisingly, this figure might also tell us why some fans are happy people while others are not! 

The stat is this: How many passes does it take to produce one shot on target? Obviously, fewer is better.  Just look where Palace stand so far this season.

Interesting. The order might be much the same if there was such a thing as a current happiness league. It’s clear, the happiest fans right now are the ones with the top teams in this table, while fans of the stragglers can probably be safely described as unhappier.

Surely fans can’t be unhappy just because they see want less tippy-tappy and more boom boom? Is it that simple? 

We don’t know, but Glasnerball makes Palace prospects look more and more promising as the season moves on. And it’s not just the league. 

In his mind’s eye, Glasner can see Palace winning the Cup

If we can avoid an upset in Yorkshire, we could indeed be good for a cup run. We’ve become a team that’s hard to beat, Glasner has history winning a European trophy, and strategically he’s got a pretty cute brain.

To go to a Premier League ground, keep a clean sheet and win fairly easily by two goals tells you something very positive about a team. To do it 3 times in less than 3 weeks says much, much more. It’s a lot of fun watching the Palace plunge sold out stadiums into stony silence.

Indeed, the away performances have given everyone a long look at the powerful spine this team has developed.  Henderson, Lacroix, Wharton and Mateta – quite honestly, I’ve been supporting Palace for decades and it’s hard to think of a spine that was stronger.  And remember, this feels extra good right now because each man is currently performing at the pinnacle of his career so far. To see Adam Wharton swivel and fire that pass to Sarr that led to the second goal at Man United was instantly so sweet, so calm, so joyous.

Transfer spending since Glasner is net zero

Glasner has produced this entire outcome without disturbing the bank balance. And yet, just one year after he took over and with no more incoming transfers this season, we can all feel already this is becoming a Glasner shaped squad.  More like the group he wants as his own.

But do be ready just in case.  It’s the battleships you don’t see coming that blow your plans out of the water. Suspensions are annoying, but damaged talent can destroy a season.  In only the last month, calamitous injuries to Doucoure and Riad have made both a total loss to this season’s radar, while Eze seems again to have one foot permanently in the treatment room.

With a squad so small….

Losing stars to injury effectively leaves Palace dependent on flexibility of the players standing by. With a starting 11 of Henderson, Richards, Lacroix, Guehi, Munoz, Mitchell, Wharton, Hughes, Sarr, Mateta and Eze, we look to Lerma, Clyne and Ward as the obvious stand-in centre backs, although Chilwell may be given the opportunity to develop his Back 3 experience as well as showing his Champions League star qualities as a left wing back.

Chalobah sadly was recalled *, so did we just go for the next Chelsea player in alphabetical order? After successful loans from Chelsea for Gallagher, Loftus Cheek, Batsuayhi and Chalobah, we can trust Chelsea. Right? Er, no.

In central midfield, the standbys are Lerma again and Devenny. Up front, the replacements would be from Kamada, Nketiah, Esse and Franca. Then we’re down to the kids.

Never Forget ….

Injuries, suspensions and loss of form can all strike at any time. I remember games last season where Palace lose top players in twos and threes. Flexibility and back up options open to Glasner are valuable but we all know they’re restricted, and it’s possible in the next few weeks that even star players may become unavailable for long periods. Let’s very much hope not.

The positive side of reducing the number of experienced first team players?

The quality of those banging on Glasner’s door for a starting job has increased while age profile is dropping. Both beneficial.

How does Palace’s transfer window strategy compare with our rivals?

Palace were not the most active in the window, but no fewer than 8 other PL clubs reached the window’s end on 3 February with loans or less – Arsenal, Brentford, Chelsea, Everton, Fulham, Liverpool, Newcastle, West Ham. Maybe PSR is starting to stop the overspending?

More Money

Meanwhile Palace’s money men seem to be always busy behind the scenes. John Textor is hopeful he has a buyer for his stake of around 45%, which is good news.

This comes after “Palace shareholders” (we don’t know which ones) injected an extra £37.5m in working capital into the club.

Why put extra cash in now? Well, for whoever owns Palace in future, payments on the stand will be a regular feature of life, probably continuing to be paid long after we’re all gone.  So we can’t really expect much of the club’s income to be used just to buy new players. 

Who invested last month?

We don’t know, but maybe Blitzer and Harris are the board room investors signing cheques right now. Why? Could it be simply because they see Palace as their biggest hope for sporting success in 2025?

They’re both billionaires with a few bob, and cash is washing around as crypto and financial markets are surging, but in the arenas …..the American sports teams they own are not looking like they’ll win much. In the NFL, the Washington Commanders reached the Super Bowl “semifinals” but were blown away. If it had been a football match, the equivalent score would have been 8-3. The Philadelphia 76ers are only 11th of 15 in the NBA East, while the New Jersey Devils have just the 12th best playing record in the NHL.

Palace Profile Rising

New figures were published in January for wealthy football clubs. Crystal Palace are now ranked 26th in the world. We’ve come a long way, baby. And our Chairman is developing his career as a budding statesman, as a January article in The Times had Parish speaking out loud about why football doesn’t need a regulator.

A Price Palace Must Now Pay?

It’s interesting that having a small squad didn’t reduce the amount of time spent by Palace in January fending off clubs sniffing around some of our best talents. Guehi, Mitchell, Hughes, Imray and even Glasner himself were all rumoured to be subject of bids or enquiries in the January window alone.

….And The Goss Goes On

For clickbait of course the summer window will not wait till June. In fact, judging by the coverage just the past few days, you might guess it’s already opened! Only hours after the winter window shut, clickbait was running a gush of stories selling our superstar in the summer to any one of Spurs, Arsenal, Liverpool, Man Utd or Chelsea – or Newcastle of course. The stories even link Mateta with Barcelona and Real Madrid and Wharton with Manchester United and Spurs, while Muñoz is supposedly soon bound for Manchester City. 

Conclusion 

Each month, we try to round up the latest news and take a reasonably impartial view of progress at the Palace. In decades following the Palace, however, I can honestly say we’ve never had a better manager than Oliver Glasner.

His contract runs out just over a year from now. My message to the Board is simple. Please extend, expand his contract!!! Even with the fantastic foundations Glasner has already put in place, another new start with another new manager would likely be a setback. And anyway, why wouldn’t we carry on with Ollie? 

* Funny. Chalobah was man of the match in his first game back at Chelsea, so good they immediately slapped a £40m price tag on him.  He was certainly good for Palace, but in truth he was only our third best performing centre back.