With our usually reliable Dundee correspondent missing in action this past week, fellow Dee fan Gary Cocker took up the mantle in his absence to tell a familiar story.
Before I begin, I should apologise to all you Palace fans. After a terrific opening day win against Fulham, you might be wondering why you’ve lost two on the bounce, and it’s my fault.
I recently got married, and on the way back from honeymoon we had six or seven hours free in London before our train up north. I spotted the signing day at the Puma store on Carnaby Street, and like an overgrown child with a far-too-understanding wife, made my way along to bask in the glow of Patrick van Aanholt, Christian Benteke, Max Meyer, Cheikhou Kouyaté and Luka Milivojevic.
After waiting in line with some seven year olds and people queueing to have stuff signed for their seven year olds, I collected as much scrawled-on memorabilia as I could, grabbed a selfie with Patrick and bounced off, unaware that I had left behind my hometown team’s inability to win a game of football.
I have tickets to the Newcastle United home game in September, so please remind me to lift the hex while I am down!