“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.”
Three matches, four points won, two points lost. Already, Oliver Glasner is proving Forrest Gump’s Mum was right!
First impressions?
We each have our own ideas on Glasner, but here’s a question… what have we all learned together about Oliver Glasner’s new Palace? Studying the first three Palace performances and picking through the last month’s interviews and official statements, here are ten things we now know.
1. Glasner was our first choice – and we were his!
Patrick Vieira was never Palace’s first choice, more like third. It now looks like the plan was for Glasner to arrive in June anyway, as he’s repeatedly said it all happened faster than expected, it’s just that Steve Parish chose to bring him in sooner.
Glasner has also said: “I’ve had lots of enquiries from all over the world since the summer.”
So we really wanted Glasner – and he really did pick Palace!
2. Glasner is clearly clued in
Respect, Oliver! Not only has Glasner been coach of seven successive European qualifications for three different clubs, but he’s won the Europa League. After Roy’s sideline silence, Glasner’s constant coaching in the ears of the players at least spells out how much he cares.
And he hasn’t (yet) fallen for the temptation of wearing his initials on his clothing. OG? Phew! What if the players took it as an instruction to score in their own net?
3. More shots, but more fouls too!
“More shots” was a Glasner promise, and he’s delivering – the expected goals rating (xG) for Glasner’s first three games is the highest for a year. Against Luton, on “Big Chances” it was 5-1 to Palace, but we didn’t convert. Our strikers are just not ruthless enough. But we knew that already. I’m sure The Doog has a shortlist of strikers to sign. I just hope he gives it to Palace, not Manchester United.
A new style based on increased intensity also means Palace foul more – 44 fouls committed in Glasner’s first three games is the most in any three-game sequence for over a year. More fouls can be expected as more testing opponents await us.
4. Security crackdown on Palace’s pre-match bananas was an instant success!
Palace have successfully negotiated the first ten minutes of each half in three games without conceding, so we can maybe relax as Palace’s bananas are now evidently properly protected from tampering, both before kick off and at half time.
5. Matches last 100 minutes, not 75!
Since Glasner arrived, Palace have conceded a total of four goals (five if you include Burnley’s disallowed goal). All were scored against us with more than 75 minutes on the clock. We may be worried, but we shouldn’t have to be. The quality of our defenders should not be a problem as our keeper and back five have all been picked for their country. What’s obvious, though, is that soon after the hour in each game so far, Palace experience steep fall-off in both sharpness of tackling and speed of counter attacks. When the snap and bite in our play disappear, the points tend to go out the window with them.
6. Wharton is potentially a terrific player
His presence protects the defence – but when he’s gone, we’re wide open. The proof is eye-popping.
In the 218 minutes Wharton has played in the last three games, Palace have not let in one goal. Without him in the remaining 52 minutes across three games (plus added time, of course), we’ve conceded five goals! Hopefully, Wharton’s fitness will let him complete the full 90 at Nottingham.
Like Munoz, Wharton is already proving a terrific signing. He oozes quality and provides crucial touches in a packed midfield. Plus, he’s clearly a student of Jordan Ayew’s “crumple technique” that brings Palace so many free kicks when we’re moving out of defence.
7. This is not your Grandad’s run-in
Palace’s 2023 switch of manager placed Roy Hodgson in the dugout with ten games left. But the opponents were not the strongest, and only two were top half teams. The other eight games were all against teams who eventually finished below us. So Roy’s “second coming” was perhaps not as amazing or as challenging as billed.
Anyway, Glasner faces a very difficult close to the season. The Austrian coach now has ten games left, but (unlike Roy’s good fortune) seven are against top half teams (including Manchester City, Liverpool and Villa). Only three fixtures remain against teams in the bottom half – and only one of those ten (the next game at Forest) is against a team currently below us.
8. So let’s hope he’s lucky!
Glasner enjoyed helpings of good fortune in his first match in charge. Burnley are relegation favourites, a key player got himself a needless red card early, and all three VAR decisions went our way. Luck like that doesn’t linger long, so it wasn’t really a surprise two weeks later when Luton sliced two points from our total by scoring in the game’s last action.
9. Is Glasner a closet magic man?
You can follow football for decades and never see a manager making his Premier League press conference debut compare himself with the richest, most fabulous magician in the world today. But that’s what Glasner did in his first press conference, giving flight to the idea that he fancies himself with a trick or two.
10. The early start will accelerate Glasner’s changes.
A full pre-season was Glasner’s preference, but there are real advantages in the four months he will have under his belt by the time he would’ve been entering Slurst:
- He gets a good long look at the entire squad
- He and his team can see squad weaknesses for themselves, and replacements can be quickly identified
- The summer transfer window strategy can be planned and executed in a measured manner
It will be particularly interesting to see what happens to players out of contract in June, including Riedewald, Schlupp, Tomkins, Clyne and Hughes, and players whose contracts expire a year later (including Ayew, Edouard and Plange).
Even more interesting will be to see what Glasner does with the Academy graduates. This year, Premier League clubs have successfully given extended runs to young lads like Miley, Bradley, Mainoo, Garnacho, Lewis and Quansah. Have Palace yet reached a stage where Glasner can give that kind of exposure to Ozoh and others?
Point 007?
What don’t we know? How is Glasner keeping fans in the dark? What doesn’t Glasner discuss? Well, recent fan protests have of course focused on the club’s hierarchy and an evident absence of vision, resulting in Palace settling for being in the Premier League, just as long as we can stay there. We all know that’s the objective for this season.
Yet, Glasner was straight up front in his first press conference …. as Oliver explained, he, Steve, The Doog and the American owners are all on the same page:
“Of course, we’ve talked about what our vision is, and we saw that we have the same goals for Palace, the same vision. But we can talk a lot – that’s not important now. Now it’s important that we work together to reach this vision, to reach these goals.”
So the vision exists – and Glasner knows what it is! Are we going to need to recruit James Bond to help supporters discover what the vision truly is?
Why the mystery? Thousands of us, well, we’re not exactly holding our breath, but we are excited to see what the new man and his team will do to help us love our Slurst football again. But, led by club brass, Oliver is simply not sharing the vision with supporters.
Why not, Oliver? You’ve been here five minutes. Some of us have been here five decades.
Now we have a new foreign coach with new ideas to take us forward to Steve Parish’s “next level” – it’s very sad that the vision for CPFC today remains more secret than the recipe for Ray Lewington’s elixir of eternal youth.
Thank you, thank you, thank you….
Finally, as we welcome Oliver Glasner, it’s time to say a heartfelt thank you to Roy and Ray. And it’s time to thank Steve Parish for finally proving that the rumours weren’t true after all – Palace weren’t waiting for David Moyes to become available. Phew!
